Self Reliance in Today’s Society (for Men)

Why isn’t self reliance taught in schools? Self reliance in today’s society (for men), sadly, appears to be drifting further away each time the wind blows.

Now, more than ever, it’s important for men to understand what self reliance is, study it, embrace it, and center their lives around it. 

The reason self reliance isn’t taught in schools is because doing so would contradict the purpose of school. Schools are a machine, not much different than a clothing factory that is meant to produce and pump out as much of the same versions of clothing articles as fast and as efficient as possible. All of the sweatshirts must look identical.


The results of a world full of un-self reliant men is painful. We’re seeing women file for divorce from men in droves, men with bellies so big they can’t see their own penis, men living with their parents well into their 30s, and most importantly herds of men walking slow with their neck hunched over as their eyes look like they are crying but with no tears.

Conformity has destroyed men. We can no longer hold back the importance of self reliance. This blog is inspired by the famous Self Reliance essay written by Ralph Waldo Emerson in in 1841.

To read the actual essay of Self Reliance, (Click Here).

To read more about the life of Ralph Waldo Emerson, (Click Here).

Here are my 4 key points from Emerson’s Self Reliance that all men should study:

1) “To believe your own thought, to believe what is true for you in your private heart – is true for all men – that is genius.”

Emerson pointed out in Self Reliance that we can notice in all great works such as Moses, Plato, and Milton, they spoke to what they thought – not what other men thought.

Too often, as Emerson pointed out, we disvalue our own thoughts simply because those thoughts belong to us.

By holding back our own thoughts, we will one day hear about them from someone else.

To-morrow a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt all the time, and we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another.

When I was a late teen with skinny arms and acne covering my face, I built football and wrestling websites. The internet was still quite young and booming. Sites like Amazon weren’t yet a household name. I bought a basic HTML book and started creating websites and sharing my thought on them.

I faced constant verbal warnings from concerned adults. “If you don’t go to college, you’ll never succeed in today’s society.”

Those concerned adults were teaching me the opposite of self reliance.

Today, some of the same people who were in my very small football and wrestling website networks, make between hundreds of thousands to  millions of dollars by spreading the their thoughts on their websites.

Emerson wrote, “Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.” Clearly, I didn’t trust myself back in my football/wrestling website days. Instead, I put my faith in the words of conformity from people practicing non-self reliance.

2) “Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. Society is a joint stock company, in which members agree, for the better security of his bread to each shareholder, to surrender the liberty and culture of the eater. The virtue in most request is conformity. Self reliance is its aversion.”

Emerson wrote, “For nonconformity the world whips you with its displeasure.”  Take a look at college campuses in 2018. If you dare say you believe in anything but socialism, or even worse – you believe in self reliance, be prepared for the screams to be lashed out as the masses of conformed thinkers shake and point their fingers and angrily voice their displeasure with you.

An example of a conformist showing his disproval to a daring self reliant person.

The next time you’re whipped with the displeasure of conformists, remember Emerson’s words, “What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think.”

Conformity is the reason why I reject the idea of men attending college today. Jumping into a sea of conformity is as dangerous as swimming in water that is overtaken by a mass of sharks.

Lucky for us though, we have books and essays written by Emerson. You can also educate yourself by reading the words of Benjamin Franklin. Or you could read about the life Julius Caesar. The possibilities are endless. The opposite is true of what you can learn in schools.

If you find yourself locked in a land full of dangerously contagious conformists, remember what Emerson wrote, “The great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with the perfect sweetness of the independence of solitude.

Let us never bow and apologize more,” Emerson wrote. “A great man is coming to eat at my house. I do not wish to please him; I wish that he should wish to please me.”

3) “Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life’s cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another you have only an extemporaneous half possession.”

Never forget your own genius. As you’re on your path to self reliance, don’t neglect your own inner greatness and gifts. We should take the advice from our great self reliant leaders of the past. It’s crucial, however, that we don’t forget to put our own stamp on it.

YouTube and social media self development star, Elliot Hulse, explained it well in this YouTube video, “Advice for Warriors in Their 20s (and Everyone Awake).” Click here to watch.

Emerson asked the great question, “Where is the master who could have taught Shakespeare?”

There is no other you. You are different and you have greatness. It’s not necessary to be consistent and follow the same path as the others before us – just because they were self reliant before us.

Shakespeare will never be made by the study of Shakespeare,” Emerson went on to write.

People today are as a bored as sheep. Too many things are cookie-cutter or saturated. In a world where everything looks and feels the same, people crave something different. There will never be another Shakespeare, just like there will never be another you. So, carve out your own style of art instead of following something else step for step.

Give the world the pleasure of the real you.

4) A political victory, a rise of rents, the recovery of your sick or the return of your absent friend, or some other favorable event raises your spirits, and you think good days are preparing for you. Do not believe it. Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles.

If you can bare it, turn your TV on for a second and take a look at the clowns on CNN and other cable news networks. Those clowns want you to believe your success depends upon some smug politician.

Then click over to Facebook and observe the bored masses posts about how Trump (or someone else) is to blame for ruining their lives and the lives of others.

Losers who sulk in conformity will have unfulfilled lives and will fail to see their true potential even if God himself was is in political office.

This morning I clicked opened Facebook and observed dozens of young men in their 20s praise the greatness of Lebron James. These “admirers” of James are watch Emerson, in 1841, would call, “little statesmen.”

A Facebook post from a “little statesman” who seemingly believes Lebron James controls his personal happiness and peace. Very sad.

The greatness of Lebron James results in nothing for this “little statesman.” He, along with millions of the un-self reliant conformists, watch James play basketball and believe the success of James will somehow translate into their success.

Or, have they just accepted their role in life of conformity and simply peak at the self reliant and attempt to live vicariously through them?

I explain the sadness of sports idolatry in greater detail in this YouTube video: “Why Men Should Stop Watching Sports” (Click Here).

Writing about your adoration and obsession of sports figures on Facebook and watching those figures play are both just as bad. It steals time away from bettering yourself and giving the world your unique greatness.

Like Emerson explained, nothing can bring you peace, but you.

The state of men in 2018 is in a deep downward spiral. The cure for the madness is self reliance. Read Self Reliance, study Self Reliance, and live Self Reliance.

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