What to do When a Girl Rejects You (or is a Bitch to You)

When a girl rejects you or acts more cold than your freezer, how does it make you feel? It’s incredibly important that when a girl rejects you (or is a bitch to you), you remember certain key points and know what to do.

We’ve all been there. It feels like you’ve been kicked in the middle of your gut and you’re gasping for air.

You’re out at a bar on Friday evening. You’d feel safer jumping out of an airplane than walking up to a hot girl you don’t know who is surrounded by 3 of her girlfriends. But, you slam a shot of Jack Daniels, and mustered up the courage to slowly walk over to her and open a conversation.

“What do you want?” she snaps, not even bothering to look in your direction.

This guy doesn’t look like he knows what to do when a girl rejects you (or is a bitch to you).

Or, two nights earlier your phone’s text-ringtone was dinging every other minute as a girl was firing off text messages full of smiling emojis.

Out of nowhere, however, she suddenly disappeared.

Does this kind of stuff turn your neck turn red in frustration? Does it make you want to pound your fist on the table. Or throw your cellphone at the wall?

It happens to all of us guys. And it will continue to happen to all us guys no matter what.

So, here is what you should do when a girl rejects (or is a bitch to) you:


1- Never Take it Personally

When we think too much about how something such as being rejected by a girl affects us personally, we have a skewed sense of events. Social psychologists call this the egocentric bias.

The egocentric bias is an adaptive false belief. It draws you into your own emotional element to attend to what you believe is the trauma or injuries placed upon you.

But this locks you in our own cage. You throw away your energy on situations that weren’t intended to be hurtful to you.

Realize this – you’re not that important. You need to understand that you think about yourself more than anyone else. Try removing yourself from being the center of the universe in your own imagination.

Think about how incredible and huge the universe actually is. One girl rejecting you means nothing.

In fact, you weren’t there 3 hours earlier when she lost out on a promotion at work. Nor were you there the night before when she found out her grandma died.

But since you insisted on placing yourself in the center of everyone’s universe, you blame her coldness on something you did.

Realize what the egocentric bias is. Stop thinking you’re so important. And appreciate the greatness of life and the universe.

If you find yourself struggling a lot with this issue, I highly recommend the book, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (Click Here for Amazon info/description). This book teaches you how to think in the present instead of the past and/or future. It also will help you understand that you are not your mind.

Also, click here to read more about the egocentric bias.

2- Reframe the Situation

So what if a girl suddenly goes darker than a deep underground cave after she was lighting up your phone with joyful texts only 2 days earlier.

Reframe the situation. You probably intimidated her by how masculine and dominant you came across. She realized that she’s not in you’re league.

You’re a 12 and she’s a 7. She probably figured she needed to warm up with some other 7’s until she is ready to play with a stud-like 12. Kind of like a rookie baseball player. He has to play in the minor leagues, sometimes for years, until he is ready to play in the big leagues.

Next time you’re wondering what to do when a girl rejects you (or is a bitch to you), remember that it’s rare for a girl well below your league to be with such a stud. She might be intimidated.

What helps me is to place myself in the shoes of one of my buddies who is going through the same situation. I reframe the situation by pretending to be him and listening to my own advice that I am giving.

I tell my friends all the time, to back off, play it cool. No need to send shirtless selfies to remind her how hot you are.

And there’s certainly no need to send needy texts that a 16 year old virgin boy such as:

“Hey, did you get my last text?”

“Hey, what happened?”

“Why are you being such a bitch?”

I admit, there are times when I want to send needy texts such as the ones above, but I never do. I imagine myself giving this advice to one of my buddies, “Don’t be a little bitch.”

3 – Remember the Field is HUGE

Major league baseball players get paid tens of millions of dollars a year to successfully hit the baseball only 3 out of 10 times.

So, unless you’re Brad Pitt or one of the million dollar baseball players, don’t expect to have a batting average with women much higher than .300.  

Sometimes you’re just going to swing and miss. But is your batting average over .300?

Keep swinging, you’re getting closer to a hit. Don’t let one bad swing kill your mood.


What you should do when a girl rejects you (or is a bitch to you), is to remember that her reaction has very little to do with you. Just reframe the situation and keep your batting average in decent shape.


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