Did you know that as a man, you have six core needs? You need to be satisfied within these six core needs in order to live a happy life.
The stumbled upon the idea for these six core needs when I was reading Neil Strauss’ book, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships.
In this creative non-fiction book, which I highly recommend you read, Strauss struggles with sex addiction and finding the right relationship that will lead to happiness. Through therapy, Strauss learned about the six core needs.
The six core needs are: physical, emotional, social, intellectual, spiritual, and sexual.
Here I will break down each core need as it relates to my own life. You can insert your life into each need as well to better understand where you’re doing well, and where you need to improve.
Core Need #1 – Physical:
Not going to the gym is like buying a new Camaro and then never changing the oil or buying new tires when needed.
Every guy loves it when their chest is popping out of their shirt as the gazing eyes of girls stare as they walk by.
When I was in high school, anyone could wrap their entire index finger and thumb around my entire upper biceps. So, yes, I distinctly recall the first time I felt a bulge in my biceps a few weeks after I started at the gym. I was lying in bed after I woke up. I kept wrapping my hand around it to see if I could connect my thumb and finger. I couldn’t. I had to pinch myself to realize that I wasn’t dreaming. See the before/after photos below:
So, getting bigger is awesome. But the best part about going to the gym is that it makes you mentally stronger. After you workout, your body releases endorphins, which is a chemical similar to morphine. It’s related to having less stress and more positive feelings.
You must regularly workout – for your own confidence, physical health, and mental health.
Core Need #2 – Emotional:
Everywhere I go, I see mindless zombie clutching to their smartphones with no expressions on their face.
Someone could walk up to one of those zombies and yell that they’ve won a million dollars. But since the zombie-people are walking on eggshells, their expression will remain defeated and blank.
Everyone cares greatly what people think about them. I don’t.
I used to be one of the walking zombies, afraid to utter a word that might irk some stranger. I was able to change by taking small new risks each day. One example – I would chat up the stranger standing behind me in the grocery store checkout line. By taking the small risks, I eventually re-trained my brain that standing out was okay.
A few weeks ago, I received a hate email from someone who read one of my blog posts. She called me sexist (although she didn’t state which particular blog post was sexist) because I mentioned my personal opinion in regards to women losing their sexual value as they age. I was thrilled to get the hate email, and I thanked the sender. I will not walk on eggshells because someone might disagree with me or be offended. Always remember – it’s impossible to please 100% of all people.
I’m emotionally healthy because I refuse to keep in how I truly feel.
Core Need #3 – Social:
Another great part from Strauss’ book was when he wrote how he says, “Yes,” to everything. It’s impossible to be successful socially if you’re sitting on your couch every night with a bag of messy Doritos watching bull shit reality TV.
If you’re not sure if you should do something – do it.
Last week I made last minute plans to go out with a friend who lives an hour away. The hour drive didn’t excite me, but I was much more afraid of the alternative, which vegatiating in front of the TV. I want to experience life. We only have one shot at life – so why waste it?
Core Need #4 – Intellectual:
Many people get education confused with school.
You don’t need school to become educated. In fact, school actually hurts your ability to become educated as most schools and colleges have become nothing more than indoctrination camps for professors to push their own political beliefs on students – which most of the time is communism.
You don’t need school to buy a book online for ten dollars written by Ralph Waldo Emerson or Ben Franklin. Or heck, buy Strauss’ book, The Truth.
Other excellent books I read recently include Crushing It, by Gary Vaynechuk and, The 10X Rule, by Grant Cardone. I learned more from each of these books alone than I did in an entire fours years at college.
Core Need #5 – Spiritual:
If you would’ve told me a few years ago that I’d start meditating, I’d call you nuts.
Things have changed. I’m calling you crazy if you don’t at least try to meditate. Turn off all the noise, lay on your back with your spine straight, and listen as you breathe in and out.
Sometimes I find it helpful just to turn off the radio when I’m driving. I like to listen to the sounds of nature. Birds chirping, the wind blowing. It’s very magical when you actually stop and listen. Even listening to the noise of the cars passing by is much better than some song on the radio with lyrics about killing yourself over someone who broke your heart.
Learn to live in the moment. Not yesterday or tomorrow.
Core Need #6 – Sexual:
First, I had to learn to love being alone. You must be okay with yourself before you can be sexual with someone else. Or else it will be a lot less satisfying.
I realized what I want in a sexual partner – a women who is highly feminine, sexually submissive. Sometimes this means turning down a partner who is hotter for someone less hot, but more in line with the values and traits that I enjoy.
Keep in mind – you must conquer the first five needs before you’re able to fully grasp the sexual need.
I hope you’re on your path to being the best verison possible of you. Life rocks, and I hope that you loves yours.